


Words in the Dark

by wyntirrose



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 18:17:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3859846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyntirrose/pseuds/wyntirrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes we need to talk away our fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the 31_days (lj comm) prompt "When I want to run away" (from Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes")

It takes everything inside of me to not run away screaming at the very thought of being here. I should be in my home with my family and my friends. I should be in class right now, learning how to properly calculate and deduce the paths that will be set before me. I should be learning how to commune with the Central Processor of Praxus. I should be sitting in the great library, absorbing the contents of the data crystals in total silence save for the flutter of door wings as we all chatted away with each other. Instead I'm here, in a strange city with strange people, and not a single of of them know what I'm screaming as my doors flail and spasm violently.

All they see is a quiet sparkling, barely old enough to be away from his creators. And all they can do is look at me with undisguised pity and horror as they mounted cannons on my shoulders and as they taught me to fire a rifle. As they taught me to kill all of those who took everything from me.

None of them could sympathize. None of them understood what I was going through. Sure, they had all lost people and things, but none of them had lost EVERYTHING. None of them understood my pain and my horror, and that cold feeling deep in my spark that never seems to go away. Not completely anyways.

It would have been so very easy to just leave. To run away and never look back. It wasn't too late. There were still a few ships leaving Cybertron. There were still a few free cities. There were still places where I could hide away from all of this and just forget. Just loose myself completely until I no longer remember all that I want to forget.

And then I met you. We're as different as we could possibly be. As anyone. I've become a sweet, babbling, idiot -- at least that's how I'm presenting myself to others. It stops the looks and the pity if they think that I've happily moved on. But you saw through all of that, didn't you? You saw the haunted look in my optics no matter how hard I tried to hide it. You saw right through me and all of my attempts to hide. Maybe it's because you've been through it too. You know the terror, You now those long nights just begging for recharge but knowing that the second you do you'll be hit with the nightmares of your memories.

And every time I think of running away, every time it gets to be too much and the babbling won't keep the memories at bay, every time I want to crawl into a dark hole and hide away, you know it. Maybe it's because you feel it too. Maybe it's because you want to hide just as much as I do, and maybe your electro-disruptor fails you just like my talk fails me.

Maybe it's serendipity that we found each other, maybe it's Primus looking over us. Because every time I want to run away I look into your optics and I see my own fears and doubts reflected back on me and I just know that we’ll get through this together and that we’ve got each other’s back and that-

Mirage placed a gentle finger over Bluestreak's lips, silencing him. "It's okay, love. I'm here and you don't need to fill the silence any more. I'm here and I'll keep the monsters away tonight."

The spy and former noble pulled the gunner close, kissing him with a gentle, protective passion. Mirage's hands stroked over the wide doors in soothing patterns, as he peppered soft kisses over grey faceplates until Bluestreak finally fell into a calm and quiet recharge.


End file.
